Mary Jane Mills: Hidden in the Outsized Shadow of Husband Jerome Dane
Mary Jane Mills: 1831-1920 (Maternal
Second-Great-Grandmother)
History is far kinder to men than women. Men’s stories are
told. Men’s records are kept. Women only appear as a daughter or wife linked to
a father or husband. Their stories remain hidden. Their records are minimal.
The disparity is even more extreme when the woman’s husband was a sort of
larger-than-life figure—a figure like Mary Jane Mills’ husband, Jerome Dane. I
know so little about her, and so much about Jerome in comparison. I feel as if
she was hidden in his shadow. I wish I’d had the chance to meet her and ask her
about her life—especially all those years when Jerome left her behind when he
rejoined the military and fought first the Dakota Sioux tribe, and then the
Confederates in the Civil War. What was her life like? How did she deal with
his absence?
So what do I know about my second-great-grandmother Mary
Jane Mills Dane? What records remain?
Mary Jane was born May 9, 1831 in Herman, New York. Her
parents were Orpha Pratt and Joel Mills, who had four sons (Orville, Gehial,
Frank and Orrin) in addition to Mary Jane. It appears that Joel had been married
before, and had at least two or three additional children from his first
marriage. The 1830 census, taken two years after his marriage to Orpha, shows
that his household included one male child under five, which would be Orpha’s
first-born Orville, one male child between five and nine, one female child
under five, one female child between five and nine, and one female child
between ten and fourteen. It appears that Mary Jane was probably raised with at
least two half-siblings, Loricia (pronounced Larissa) and Jerome—the two older
children on that 1830 census. New York records are extremely limited; no birth
information was recorded in the early-to-mid 1800s, so this is more of a
hypothesis than fact.
Mary Jane’s family moved to Wisconsin sometime before the
1850 census. While there, she met another transplanted New Yorker, Jerome Dane.
He had just completed military service in the Mexican War, and then moved to
Wisconsin to live with his older brother Francis Ami Dane.
Mary Jane and Jerome married July 3, 1852 in Williamstown,
Wisconsin. Mary Jane was 21. Jerome was 24. They settled near Janesville, and
their first child, daughter Orpha Antoinette Dane, was born October 21, 1854.
They apparently relocated to Blue Earth County in Minnesota in
1858 (see news article below). Just three years later in 1861, Jerome
re-enlisted in the military in Minnesota, joining the Minnesota Infantry. He
was on active duty for the next four years, serving as a captain, first in
Minnesota during the war against the indigenous tribes, and then in the Civil
War.
But what happened to Mary Jane and their daughter Orpha? Had
Jerome built a house for them? Had he bought a farm with existing buildings?
Did he leave her with someone to help with the farm? I have so many questions, and
none can be answered. He enlisted during an indigenous uprising against
settlers near Blue Earth County. Mary Jane was left alone during a very
dangerous time.
Apparently Jerome was home often enough on leave in 1862 to
father another child. Mary Jane gave birth to a daughter she named Sally Jane
on April 1, 1863. Sadly, the little girl died just three months later on July
9, 1863. How did Mary Jane cope? Her husband was gone, leading troops in the
Civil War, which must have been devastating enough for her—she probably dealt
with constant fear that he would be injured, killed, or captured. She was left
behind to care for a nine-year-old child while grieving for her baby. How did
she survive such stress? Did she have family who could support her? Her brother
Orrin had married and also lived in Blue Earth County, but he too was serving
in the war. Did her sister-in-law live close enough to offer support?
Little Sally may not have been the first child Mary Jane
lost. The 1900 census asked all mothers how many children they had given birth
to, and how many survived. Mary Jane answered that she gave birth to six
children, but only three survived. Given the large span of years between the
births of Orpha and Sally, I would hypothesize that Mary Jane lost two other
children in infancy before Sally. Losing a third child in 1863 must have been
heartbreaking.
To compound Mary Jane’s suffering, her brother Gehial was
killed in the war two months after little Sally’s death.
Gehial Mills, a few years before death in Civil War
Jerome survived the war, and was back at home by the date of
the Minnesota 1865 census. However, within a few years, he uprooted his family
and moved about 20 miles east to property in Waseca County near the tiny
community of Janesville. They stayed there only a few years. Their son Orlo
Dane was born there August 27, 1868, and daughter Lucy May Dane, my
great-grandmother, was born there as well on November 5, 1871. They are
recorded below in the 1875 Minnesota census.
 |
| Census incorrectly says Jerome and Mary Jane's parents were from Ireland. One of Jerome's tales/jokes? Their families arrived in the 1600s from England. |
Yet by the 1880 census, they had moved back to Blue Earth
County to LeRay Township. They lived there until 1891 when they abruptly moved
nearly 200 miles north to Crow Wing County near Brainerd, where they celebrated
their 50th wedding anniversary in 1902.
Poor Mary Jane. Packing up all her possessions again and
again, moving from house to house by wagon, all while trying to raise two young
children and a teen daughter. It must have been a difficult time. I wish I
could ask her how she managed, and if she ever had time to herself—time to be
happy and to laugh. Jerome seemed to be an extrovert—he was an officer in the
local GAR group, he ran the local post office, he gave amusing, fascinating
interviews to newspaper reporters. Was he charming to Mary Jane? Did he make
her happy? Did he make her laugh? Was she equally outgoing, or was she more
reserved? Was she glad she married Jerome, or did she have regrets? Was she as
restless as Jerome, ready to move, always looking for a better place? Or did
she prefer to settle down in one spot, but never had the chance?
I have only found one photo of Mary Jane, obviously cut down
from a group photo. She looks to be in her sixties, and posed with a solemn
expression—typical for the time period when photos had long exposure times.
Sadly she died eight years before my mother was born, so my mother never met
her, and didn’t remember hearing any stories about her from Mary Jane’s
grandson, my mom’s father Ivan Macbeth.
 |
| One of Jerome's death notices. Of course I found none for Mary Jane. |
Following Jerome Dane’s death in 1908, Mary Jane moved in
with her daughter Lucy and her husband, Walter Macbeth. She lived with them
until she died January 1, 1920. My grandfather, Ivan, was nearly 14 when she
died, so he certainly should have remembered her. I wish I’d thought to ask him
about his grandmother when he was still alive.
Mary Jane is buried at the Eagle Lake Cemetery in Minnesota,
near the Macbeth farm in LeRay Township. I’ve visited her grave—the only
opportunity I ever had to “meet” her, sadly. I’m sure she could have told me
some amazing stories.
Sources:
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